butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
