i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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