once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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