it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
