Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
