I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
