hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
