My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There's always time for handjobs
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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