ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
