I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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