If that was your dad, he is hot
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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