That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
