I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Let's paint friendship bongs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
