is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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