ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
