who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
God I need to hump something, right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
