Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
