we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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