But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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