if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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