Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
