You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My feet surprised me
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