We're facebook friends in real life
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
