Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
