All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
