Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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