Your tits are I can't wait for
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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