Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
