i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
