Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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