Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
