Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize