She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize