i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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