Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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