if only i could text you this smell
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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