This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
