The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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