You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
