I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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