you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
