Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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