dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
