Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize