oh god the rape fog is back!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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