I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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