I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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