Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
