Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
