ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize