well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
