He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
