We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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