Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have aggressive nipples.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize