Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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