yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
