I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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