Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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