would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
