Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
