So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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