Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
