So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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