I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
