he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
