I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
