Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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