The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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