You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
