her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
