I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
