Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
