I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
