so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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